Adolescence hides a lot. Withdrawal, irritability and long silences can be ordinary teenage weather — or the first signs of something heavier. You don't need to diagnose; you need to notice, and to ask in a way that doesn't slam the door.
Ask without cornering
Head-on interrogation ("What's wrong with you lately?") usually gets a shrug. Sideways, low-pressure openings work better: "You've seemed a bit flat — I'm here if you ever want to talk, no big deal either way." Then leave room, and don't rush to fix.
Teens often test whether you can handle the small stuff before they trust you with the big stuff. How you respond to a bad mood is the audition.
What helps
- Listen longer than feels comfortable. The urge to reassure can shut them down.
- Take it seriously, stay calm. Panic teaches them to protect you from the truth.
- Know when to get help. Ongoing hopelessness, big changes in sleep or eating, or any talk of self-harm means it's time to involve a GP or professional — you don't have to carry it alone.
You can't force a teen to open up. You can make it clear the door is never locked.
