Everyone keeps telling you how grown-up you're getting. More responsibilities, more freedom, more being trusted to handle things on your own. Mostly you like it. But sometimes, when no one's looking, a part of you misses being little — being looked after, not having to decide things, being allowed to just play without it mattering. There's a confusing push and pull. You want the new freedoms and you sometimes want to be small again. You feel a bit embarrassed about the second part, like wanting to be little is babyish, so you keep it hidden and act as grown-up as you can. Today something made the little-kid feeling rise up strongly, right when everyone expected you to be the mature one. You're not sure that's allowed.